Here we are again. It's Wednesday and we're in the tent come kitchen sweating nervously as Paul Hollywood creeps up behind us to judge our loaf. Doesn't bear thinking about does it? Anyhow after last week's elimination, while not as dramatic as the week before still resembled something like a Baz Luhrmann's Alice in Wonderland, we have ten bakers left ready to face this week's challenges.
This week, they will mainly be baking bread. Again I can't help but feel the potential bakers would perform better were they not under the constant watch of the the judges and the cameras. Anyhow, they first have to create 12 perfect rye bread rolls shaped in any way they like using as much flour as they dare. That's not me being sarcastic that last line is taken straight from their own press release. One can only imagine what delightful shapes the baker who's eliminated tonight might want to craft with their rye bread rolls.
Next we have the usual technical challenge wherein the contestants have to make Italian Ciabatta using Paul's own recipe which seems...unfair. Still having tried this and managed to craft something resembling the thing that burst out of John Hurt's stomach in Alien, I can vouch for just how difficult it is.
Finally our wannabakers have to create show stopping centerpiece that will, and I quote, make an impact on the table as well as on the judges. Something hard enough to pierce mahogany but retaining the necessary aerodynamics to nail Paul a forty paces then?
To top the night off the loser is encased in a giant baguette and floated down a river before erupting into flames as Mary strikes the contraption with a single flaming arrow from the river bed.
Image may be NSFW.
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