Where will you be at 9pm on a Tuesday night? I'd usually be digesting my dinner and seeing what's on the TV, but not tonight.
No, because at 9pm Channel 4 dishes up a nice heaped serving of shame to everyone who has the audacity to think they can cook.
The Taste, an American format adapted for UK television, is a cookery show with much the same mission objective as the BBC's Masterchef.
Force 12 culinary hopefuls to cook the meal of their lives every week under sweatshop conditions with millions of people watching around the country and, when they inevitably make a mistake, be sure to see them hounded out of the competition like Frankenstein's monster.
We're in the fifth week of The Taste now and things don't seem to be getting any easier for our disciples of cordon bleu.
The judges are Anthony Bourdain, Ludo Lefebvre and Nigella Lawson and they follow pretty rigid character arcs.
Anthony is the stern veteran one, Ludo is the shouty passionate French one and Nigella is the one who reminds you of that teacher you weirdly liked to have tell you off.
Each of them mentor a team of four chefs, every week blind testing all the dishes cooked and singling out the worst of the bunch and eliminating them from the competition.
The twist? In blind testing there is a chance that they could send one of their own team home. Last week Nigella had to pick between two of her own chefs, in a scene that closely resembled something out of Lassie Come Home.
Hopefully tonight will be just as entertaining with the remaining eight battling to win...something. That bit is never really explained, maybe it's a years free pass to McDonalds? Or counselling, because let's face, to win you have to endure three months of being told you're boiling water wrong.
People say that the Roman colosseum lived on in the X Factor. If that's so then The Taste channels the spirit of Nero's dinner parties where one slip of the wrist could lead to certain death or worse, a telling off from Nigella.
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